Take Care
by sittingoverheredreaming
Summary: Poe can barely handle Finn being injured. Rey can barely handle leaving him. Heavily focused on Poe's feelings.
1. Chapter 1

Maybe they should have been somber from the start, good people hadn't made it back. But the high of having done the impossible, having saved entire star systems, was something no one, and certainly not Poe, could deny. Jessika clapped him on the back and another crew member hollered in victory. One of the younger members did a cartwheel. That got everyone laughing. It was, Poe was certain, what the fallen would want them to be doing. The victory, the joy, this was what they died for. It deserved celebration. The mourning could come later.

When the Millennium Falcon landed, Poe expected more of the same.

But then Chewbacca came out, an unconscious Finn in his arms.

Everything stopped. Or, it didn't, but for Poe it did. He couldn't hear what Jessika was saying, didn't see what passed between the General and the girl who disembarked the Falcon before Finn. All he could feel was fear. It curled up in his abdomen and chewed at his heart, sent tendrils up to his ears, pounded at his head.

He followed Finn into the medical bay, where droids began taking vitals. A stern-face woman looked up as he entered.

"Out. You'll get in the way."

"What happened?"

"Lightsaber. _Out._ "

Leaving was the only thing he could do. Poe made his way to his barracks, thankful they were empty in the aftermath of battle. He'd lost good men before. He'd lost good men today. But Finn, he admitted to himself, was more than just a good man. Poe would laugh at himself if terror over what might be happening in the medical bay didn't hang on him so heavily. Jessika always teased him, said he'd fall for any nice boy with a cute smile. Finn was certainly no exception.

Poe did laugh then. Finn _was_ an exception in so many ways. A Storm Trooper who broke free. A man taught nothing but hatred and fear but chose kindness anyway. Who _wouldn't_ fall for someone like that? Poe pressed his hands to his face. It wouldn't be fair for Finn to die now, the universe couldn't be so cruel.

That was a juvenile line of thought, and Poe knew it. The universe could, had. But he hoped against all reason it wouldn't now.

He couldn't say how long he'd stayed there with his thoughts before Jessika showed up. "The General has called a meeting."

Poe sighed. "Now?"

"No, she's waiting with Rey for news on the Storm Trooper."

"Don't call him that."

Jessika gave him a wry smile. "You could join them."

"I'm not so sure." Rey was something special, he knew, both to Finn and the galaxy. He supposed they were suited for each other, two extraordinary people.

"You _should_ join them." She sat down next to him. "It's not like you to doubt yourself."

He forced a smile. "Stranger things have happened in recent days."

"Now listen here, Black Leader. I'm giving you a command this time. Don't live with regrets." She punched him in the shoulder, but her expression went soft. "I saw how you looked at each other. I can't promise he feels the same, but I can promise he would want you there."

"Thanks, Jess."

She raised an eyebrow as she stood. "Thank me with action, not words."

...

He'd promised himself he'd go after the meeting, but in the excitement about the map, Rey had beaten him there. She held Finn's hand. Poe could hear the murmur of her voice though he couldn't make out her words. He wondered if Finn could, if somehow that soft river of sound could make its way past the anesthesia and comfort him. He wondered if Rey could make it so. Jedi could do anything, couldn't they?

He hung back, hoping she wouldn't turn around. If he was honest, he didn't think it was her rumored strength in the force was what would reach Finn. Even at a distance, even with Finn unconscious, he could see something between them, bright and burning and good. Finn needed her. It was her touch and her care that would pull him towards recovery.

So he left, but somehow, every route he took for any task Leia gave him took him past the medical bay, and every time he had to pause to look in. Rey was almost always there, but as the day of her departure drew nearer, more of her time was consumed with preparations. And so, when Poe passed, he could not bear to see Finn lying alone. That looked too much like he was dead. It wasn't his place to take Finn's hand, but he had to, if only for a moment. Poe needed to feel that it was warm, that there was still a pulse under the skin. He could live with whatever else happened.

He'd intended to leave right away, but he sat down. His errand had to wait.

Finn's breathing was soft but steady. Poe watched his chest rise and fall under the weight of the lightsaber scars. The urge to trace them with his fingers tugged at his heart. Instead he pressed Finn's hand to his forehead. "You deserve so much better than this."

Poe closed his eyes. Finn was alive, expected to recover. It was enough, it had to be enough.

He gave a start when someone grasped his shoulder. "You finally came in."

Poe expected Rey to be angry, to berate him for his intrusion. But her face was calm, almost relieved.

"I feel you look sometimes." She looked down at Finn, her hand still on Poe. "He cares about you a lot. I heard as much from him as from BB8."

Poe swallowed hard. "He thought of nothing but you when the First Order took you."

She smiled, but her eyes were glassy. "I don't want to leave him. I have to soon, but…" Rey looked at him with an expression he couldn't place. "You care for him too, right?" An edge had entered her voice.

Poe set Finn's hand back on the bed and stood.

Rey faced him fully. "I need to know."

"I do. Very much like you do."

She threw her arms around him. Poe stumbled from surprise.

"Take care of him. I can't leave him alone." She held him very tightly. "Promise me."

He hugged her back, thinking about what he'd heard about the girl left on a desert planet her whole life. "I promise. I'll tell Leia I can't do anything else." He'd meant it as a joke, but as it came out it no longer felt like one. "I'll be here when he wakes up."

She pulled away. "Make sure he knows I'm coming back." A heaviness weighed on Poe's heart, but then Rey continued, "I want him to know he has both of us."

Poe smiled. "I will." Finn would be the most loved man in the universe, he would make sure of it.


	2. Chapter 2

Poe was unsurprised to wake up in a chair next to Finn's bed with a terrible crick in his neck. He was surprised to see General Leia sitting on the other side, waiting.

"Jessika would have me understand that you intend to ignore your duty for the foreseeable future."

"With all due respect, my duty is right here."

"Dr. Kalonia has assured me that Finn will not be awake until she decides he's ready—she keeps a close eye on his dosages." It was only Poe's years of service to the General that made him catch the way her eyes softened. "I will not send you off planet, but there is too much to be done to have you out of service."

"I understand."

She came around to put a hand on his shoulder. "When Kalonia says the time has come, you will be here."

"Thank you, General."

"You may want to hold your thanks until you know what duties I'm assigning you too," she said, but she offered a wry smile as she left. "Oh, and Poe? If you intend to keep sleeping here, do arrange for a cot. I won't lose my best pilot to poor sleeping habits."

...

"How's our favorite janitor? Unclog many toilets today?" Jessika slid into the chair across the table.

"Ha, funny. No, today I'm doing engine inspections, and _your_ X wing was well overdue for an oil change, Testor."

Next to Poe, BB8 beeped appreciatively.

"Good thing you caught it. I just don't know what the Resistance would do without your handy work." She smiled and poked at the pile of supposedly edible material on her tray. "Maybe you can inspect the kitchens next. They've gotta be overdue for some kind of change."

Poe laughed. "Make that request to the general. I think she's running out of grunt work for me, given she's resorted to things I actually know how to do."

"Maybe she'll make you cook. I'd be afraid if I wasn't certain it's impossible to do worse than this."

"You're clearly forgetting every story my mother has ever told about me in the kitchen."

"Hey, burnt is at least identifiable. This—" she turned it over with her fork—"I'm not sure if it's a vegetable or Whompa brains."

"Both, probably. I think they're experimenting with casseroles."

Jessika snorted. "I guess I should be grateful I doesn't taste any worse." She eyed him, then, with a serious edge to her expression. "I take it you're handling being base-bound alright."

"It was my choice."

She raised an eyebrow. "No, it's a side effect of your choice. A consequence. And you're a man who chooses duty whatever the consequences." Jessika leaned forward. "No one's going to blame you for getting restless."

Poe sighed. There was never any point in trying to hide things from Jess. "Restless as all hell. But it's more than duty."

"And that makes it worse, not better."

"He's worth it."

"Oh, trust me, I have no doubts that the great Poe Dameron only gives his heart to worthy men. But you, too, are worth some care." She adopted her best stern impression, though no matter how she tried she could never fully excise the laughter from her eyes. "A bunch of us are going up tonight to blow off some steam. Get off world for a few hours. Show us all up by flying the way you do."

He almost said yes. The yearning to get behind the controls again and cut through some space ate at him. But if—if tonight was the night, if Dr. Kalonia was ready and could not find him, if Finn woke up alone—the risk was too high. He thought of Rey's face, struck with betrayal, of Finn, thinking everyone had left. "I can't, Jess."

That night was not the night. Nor was the next, or any night for the weak after. The two longings, for Finn and for the sky, clawed at his heart, yanked it in two directions. Each time he passed by the hangar, he was not sure which would win.

The problem is, with such battles, that when victory for one means waiting, the other is bound to triumph sooner or later.

And so, on his thirteenth night being base-bound, Poe climbed into his X wing. Even just sitting in the seat, before it was ready to fly or even on, sent a thrill up his spine and down his arms. "You ready for a cruise, BB8?"

The little droid hesitated on the ground. It rolled back and forth, gave a little beep of doubt.

"We won't be gone long. I promise."

BB8 whirred.

"What are the chances it would happen the moment I leave?"

"Quite high, it seems."

Poe snapped to attention as General Leia approached.

"These things always seem to go that way." She crossed her arms. "Perhaps the force has a cruel sense of humor."

He climbed out of the X Wing. "General, I-"

She held up a hand. "It doesn't matter. Dr. Kalonia is taking Finn off anesthetic, he should be awake within the next few hours." Leia pressed her lips together. "There is likely still time for a flight, if you need it."

"Likely isn't a chance I want to take."

The General nodded. "Then go."

Poe had expected the medical bay to be alive with the buzzing of droids, but when he arrived only the doctor herself was there.

"He will be confused, and likely scared," she said without greeting. "Tremendous pain, too. I repaired the spine, but he'll need physical therapy to retrain the nerves… the General has assured me you will take charge of that."

It was not a question, but Poe nodded anyway.

"I'm going to be in the next room monitoring his vitals. I have found, generally, that people respond best to familiar faces at first. But if things go wrong, I will come back."

Poe swallowed hard. "Wrong?"

Dr. Kalonia nodded with incredible nonchalance. "Stress can harm the body. Disorientation can cause stress. We can hope he will wake up smoothly, but we must prepare for it to be otherwise."

"Alright. Okay."

"Your job is to try and keep him calm. I'll be in if you can't."

She left. BB8 nudged against Poe's leg with a soft, reassuring beep.

"Thanks, buddy." He reached down to pat the droid. "We can do this."

It was at least another hour before Finn started to stir. His breathing changed first, the soft steady rhythm of his chest broke with a hitch, a pause, and each gasp came in deeper and shorter. One fist clenched, and then the other.

And then his eyes shot open. " _Rey!_ "

Something wretched and selfish twisted in Poe's chest, for a moment he wished he'd gone up in his X Wing and never come down. Fear rushed in behind that, fear that he couldn't do the one thing he needed to. But he grabbed Finn's hand anyway. "She's alright. And so are you."

"Poe." Finn's breathing stayed heavy, but as his eyes met Poe's his body relaxed.

"I'm here."

"You're here." Finn's hand cured around Poe's. His eyes closed. A For a moment his face contorted in pain. "What happened?"

Poe told him, and all through telling he was unable to ignore every wince, every time the pain made Finn grip his hand tighter. The urge to climb into the bed and hold all of Finn instead of just his hand all but overwhelmed him. "She's coming back, she needed you to know that. But in the meantime…"

"You're here." The faintest smile crossed Finn's face.

"Yeah. And I'm not going anywhere."


	3. Chapter 3

Poe normally had no trouble with men. They were easy to read, when it came down to it, and easy to coax towards affection. A well placed smile, a perfectly timed hand touch, and they'd find themselves in a heart to heart and, eventually, skin to skin.

But Finn was difficult.

One- Poe had to admit, he cared more than usual at the start. He'd been in love before, certainly, but that always came slowly. This was a harsher and cragier feeling. This was being unable to fathom rejection, but unable to believe in another outcome.

Two- Finn did ask questions, but not the right ones. Not, "So what's your family like?" Not, "Where's your favorite place to fly?" Instead, "Are you a doctor, too?" _Why are you here?_ "Has there been any word about Rey?" _Do you know how poor a substitute you are?_

Three- Finn was angry. Or, at least, frustrated; a week in and he was just barely walking. Barely talking, too- mostly, if he said anything, it was an insistence he did not need help. The first days were the hardest. The shock when his legs took time to respond, the falls, the shying away from Poe's helping hand. It was a relief when he managed to start taking slow, faltering steps with the walker Dr. Kalonia had provided. He had even managed to get out of bed on his own this morning. It didn't matter that he was progressing much faster than what Dr. Kalonia had said to expect. It wasn't enough. He kept pushing harder. Nothing Poe did was comforting or helpful. He had, in fact, begun to wonder if he was only making things worse.

At noon he had escaped to the cafeteria to get them food and for a moment's respite.

Jess found her way to his side. "You should get a break." He opened his mouth, but she pressed on. "I don't care what other feelings you have, resentment is there. And I'm betting everything he's feeling about his situation isn't staying nice and separated from how he feels about you."

She had a point, but-

"And-" She cut him off again as he filled a tray for Finn. "Your promise to take care of him includes emotional care, don't try and pull that on me, Dameron. I'm going to cover for you for a few days."

"Fine."

"Fine?" She looked up at him like she was trying to find the punchline hidden in his face. "You're agreeing that easy?"

"I'm the wrong man- _person-_ \- for the job."

She hummed a low note of frustration. "Please use this time to flirt with other guys, your lack of confidence is deeply unsettling."

Poe laughed, surprised to find that it was genuine. "I'll get laid just for you, Testor."

"Than- oh shit."

Jess pushed his shoulder to turn him around. Finn stood in the center of the entryway. He'd somehow made it here from the medbay with no walker, not even a cane. His steps were uneven, shaky, his jaw tight in focus and pain, but he kept coming.

"I thought we could eat here today," he said when he finally reached them. His breaths were measured to hide exertion. The slightest bit of sweat shone on his forehead.

Poe felt an ache whenever he saw Finn like this, an urge to take him in his arms. He swallowed it down every time. Finn would not take well to being coddled, he was sure.

"Well, you can sit with us, then," Jess said, leading him to their usual table with a hand casually on his arm. "More of the guys should be here soon. And it'll be good to get to know you a bit, since I'll be covering for Poe for a few days."

Finn half-fell the rest of the way onto the bench. "What?"

"We're sending Poe away for a bit." Jess put her hand on Poe's shoulder. He noted her use of we- not a lie as it meant the two of them, even though they all knew Finn would take it to mean the Resistance. She had a knack for that sort of thing. "I'll be filling in for your care."

"Oh." Finn's eyes met Poe's, and for a moment he swore he saw a twinkle of hurt. _Ask me to stay. Give me a reason, give me anything._ Finn pressed his lips together. Poe dared to hope; he let his eyes linger on Finn's mouth before flicking back up, he gave every signal he could. _Say you want me._

"Well," said Finn at length. "Maybe I'll have made progress by the time you get back."

It should have been Poe's cue to point at the miraculous progress he'd already made. It should have been his cue to say it didn't matter. But his normal buoyancy had deflated, it was all he could do not to turn and leave right then. He sat through lunch, even did his best to smile and laugh and comment on cue.

Jess had probably meant to have him go in a day or two, but the moment Finn was back in the medbay, he took BB8 and packed his plane.

...

"He's been going too easy on you."

"What?"

Jessika crossed her arms and took a deep breath. "Poe would let you get away with the stunt you pulled today, but I'm not going to. You're not ready for that much."

Finn cast his eyes to the wall. "I'm fine."

"You're still shaking." He'd-presumably- been back in bed for nearly an hour, long enough for Jess to see Poe off and come back. "Clearly, you're straining yourself."

"And that's how I'll get better."

Jess sighed. "Listen. I know this is an adjustment. We do things differently here." She sat on the foot of his bed. "You're a person before you're a soldier. Putting yourself through this unnecessary pain does no one any good."

He didn't respond or even look at her.

"It's fine if you don't believe me. But you're making collateral damage of my friend, and that's not fine."

Finn's fists clenched. "The faster I improve, the sooner he can get back to better things. I know he's been frustrated, staying here. That's why he left."

"Oh boy." Jess looked to the ceiling. "The both of you are making a mess of each other."

"S-"

"Don't apologize, it's not anyone's fault. Well, maybe the First Order's. We'll have to punish them." She gave a pause in case he wanted to laugh. He didn't. "What do you feel for Poe?"

He looked up in surprise. "What?"

"I want to know what I'm dealing with. You want to be his friend? Something else? And what about the girl?"

He sighed. "I don't know. They're both… they're the first outsiders I've met, how can I… I mean, it's probably just that. They're the first, so of course I'd feel… that way about them. That's all."

Jess drew up her knees to rest her head and hands on them. "I see." That certainly was not all.

"But it's not like I couldn't have had feelings before. Storm troopers still mess around, and sometimes… It was discouraged, but they couldn't stop it. There were even rumors about the Captain, her secret love one was probably just gossip. Others, though…" He shook his head. "But how could I know? And _both_?"

She smiled. "It's hardly unheard of. And you can't know. You can only find out."

He scrunched his eyebrows together.

Jess had to laugh. "It's all inexact. All to have is what you feel right now, and you have to see if it'll grow or die. Maybe you'll end up marrying both of them, or one of them, or maybe you'll date them each for a month and realize you want something else. But all of those answers are better than what ifs." She patted his knee. "Trust me. I've been through a few rounds of the love game."

"I don't know…"

"Well, you have a few days. As Poe's eternal wingman, though, I'm obligated to urge you towards what he would want."

"Oh." He looked at her for a moment as though he somehow expected her to say Poe didn't want him that way. She tried not to laugh as realization dawned on his face. " _Oh._ "

Jess did not succeed in not laughing. "He hasn't camped out by your side because Rey asked him too. And he only left because I made him." She stood up. "Now, you're on bed rest for today. I have some things to take care of, and tomorrow we're going to work on your therapy. What the doctor outlined and _only_ what the doctor outlined. Understand?"

Finn still looked like he wanted to protest, but he nodded. "Yes."

"Good." She paused at the door and turned with a smile. "You're alright, Finn. But if you try and overwork yourself when I'm not watching, I will get the General involved."

He laughed. "Understood."

...

Poe had been unable to fulfil Jess's request. When he'd arrived at his favorite bar on the other side of the planet, he gravitated to his fellow pilots rather than any of the handsome strangers. He'd needed their camaraderie more than he realized. For three days they came and went between missions, sometimes joining Poe to camp out for a night. He flew with some for a bit, the way Jess had suggested before. They called him a show off and bought him a round for out-flying the rest.

He'd enjoyed it more than he expected. But every time Poe looked at another man, he could only see the ways he wasn't Finn. No smile was bright enough, no eyes so beautiful. He sighed as he maneuvered his plane towards the base. "Jess will be disappointed in me."

 _I am proud of you_ , BB8 beeped.

Poe smiled. "You like him, don't you?"

 _He saved you!_

"Buddy, he might not love me the same way I love him. You have to be okay with that."

BB8 gave a long slow beep, but then perked up. _Well, I love you_.

"I love you too, buddy."

He pulled smoothly onto the landing strip and taxied into the hanger. BB8 got released onto the ground. The droid spun around the plane as Poe went through dismount protocol. He hopped out and together they entered the base.

Finn was in the first hall. He was actually using the walker, Poe was happy to note. He looked up from the floor with a start. "I didn't make it for your landing."

"You got pretty close," Poe said gently. He tried to keep his hope in check.

Finn patted the walker. "Jess is insistent about this thing, but it's slow." He frowned. "Jess, uh, Jess and I talked about some other things."

"Like what?"

"Well. I... that is to you…" He paused, huffed, restarted. "I have feelings. And I can't say what they are, because you and Rey, you're something special just because of what you've done and when I met you. But I think you both… I think I…"

BB8 nudged at Poe's ankles, and that was all it took. Three steps, and his hands were on Finn's shoulders, his mouth on his. Finn did not react with surprise. He wrapped his arms around Poe, one hand on his back and the other in his hair. His whole weight leaned into Poe, and Poe was happy to hold him up. Finn's kiss was imprecise and sweet. He gave so wholly into the feeling that Poe could not help but match him.

He could not say how long it lasted, only that his arms had begun to tire when they finally broke apart and Finn leaned onto his walker.

 _I think he likes you,_ BB8 chirped. Poe laughed.

"What?"

"BB8 has been rooting for us, I think."

The droid gave a thumbs up with its lighter. Finn laughed, too. "I'm glad you have my back, little guy."

They meandered through the halls, BB8 declaring its happiness to anyone who understood binary.


End file.
